Characters

 Max Underling

My name is Max Underling and I live in Harmony. I’m 25 years old and I’m the Office Manager for Hot Air, Inc., a local balloon factory that I’ve been with for five whole years.

My workdays are spent pulling reports, setting up system access, and almost always making deadlines. I really like to relax and hangout with my friends Aubrey or Everett on the weekends, but as you’ll come to find out that can just add to the chaos.

I am very single and it’s really starting to bother me. I mean, I’m a good looking guy with a great personality who makes enough money to support a family. I’m flirtatious and caring… but I’m picky. I’ll be honest and say that I don’t really know what it is I’m looking for, but I know when I’m attracted to somebody.

I’m a functioning alcoholic, and by that I mean that I recognize that I have a problem but I’ve learned to live with it. I’m struggling with depression although I tend to hide it very well either by pretending that nothing is wrong and being all happy and giddy with my friends, and when it does come up I just change the subject. I’m a master deflector.

 Everett Darling

My best friend in the whole world is Everett Darling. He’s just celebrated his twenty-first Birthday and he’s already had one amazing life. I met him through my other best friend Aubrey Morrow back when Everett was known as Emily.

Everett has had quite a few struggles throughout his life. He began his life in the wrong body and with the help of weekly testosterone injections and the Harmony legal system changing his name, he’s begun the lifelong journey to repair this. He’s also bipolar and emotion driven.

After years of self-mutilation and several suicide attempts, rebuilding his life comes second only to Everett’s very unhealthy relationship with Jasmine Runtings.

 Aubrey Morrow

When I first met Aubrey I thought she was a very cute boy who was dating my niece, but as it turns out Aubrey is a five foot banging hot dyke who’ll make you question yourself at every turn.

Aubrey means well in everything she does, she just doesn’t have the best judgment of character. She chases her tongue and when she’s focused on somebody they are the only thing running through her head. She is the reason the word clingy was invented.

One of the most important people in the World to me, I will admit that I’ve had strong feelings for Aubrey since the day I met her seven years ago. If only she could be as obsessed with me as she is Keirra she wouldn’t have to worry about a thing, and she knows it.

Oxycontin, Lortab, Percocet, Dilaudid, Rohypnol, Estasy, Cocaine, Methamphetamine, and Heroine. You name it, Aubrey’s done it. She usually goes on a binge when things don’t go her way.

 Jasmine Runtings

Jasmine is Everett’s kind-spirited yet overbearing control freak of a fiancé. You know the type of woman who makes their boyfriend’s part of their five year plan? Yup, that’s Jasmine.

She is over-concerned with how the World perceives her and she will try anything to keep up appearances. Jasmine and Everett fight whenever Everett doesn’t do his chores or when he pushes back and demands a little respect.

It’s not that she doesn’t care deeply for Everett, but she’s more afraid of having to start over and train somebody new than helping him find what works best for him. Case in point, Jasmine proposed to Everett last year after he attempted suicide instead of helping him focus on bettering himself, and ever since she’s known he is wrapped around her little finger.

It’s her World, anyway.

 Keirra Prichard

Keirra Prichard is Aubrey’s ex-girlfriend, she’s doesn’t really frequent my radar much these days, but if it’s one thing I’ve learned about lesbians it’s that they are almost incapable of breaking up with each other. They cling on to whatever bit of unhealthy friendship they can until those closest to them vomit their lowest intestinal contents.

Keirra is an habitual liar. In fact I’ve learned one easy way to tell if she’s lying… her mouth is moving.

Aubrey was spending five days in the Harmony Jailhouse on an alcohol violation when she met Keirra, who was incarcerated for aggravated assault and armed robbery. Aubrey set her closest friends aside and spent the next year pawning all of her belongings so she could afford to talk to Keirra everyday.

Once Keirra was released from jail she moved in with Aubrey and her family and things were pretty good for a few months, until all of Keirra’s petty little lies caught up to her and she couldn’t face them. She went back to doing meth and cocaine, and the last I heard she was shooting up.

Rogue Dawson

Rogue Dawson is an outgoing and friendly girl, and she’s a sexy tattooed dyke, too! Rogue is a wonderfully free spirited person who enjoys hanging out and is studying to be a police officer like her hero, her mommy.

I met Rogue back when Aubrey was trying to get into her pants. I even loaned Aubrey my car to take Rogue out on a cheesy date, but Rogue totally bailed on her. Sadly their friendship grew apart quickly while Rogue and I have stayed in contact with each other throughout the past few years.

One day I received a text message from Rogue which said, ‘some guy at a party last night asked if I would marry him for the benefits of marriage, but all I could think about was you.’ I wasn’t quite sure how we got to the subject, but later she and I were discussing the possibility of one day having a child together. Hence, she calls me baby daddy.

One of the few friends who actually comforts me, Rogue is a definite blessing to my life.

Tailor Montenegro

Tailor Montenegro is one of my latest friends. I met her through Everett as she’s been his best friend for many years and has just returned from Georgia where she was attending college with her girlfriend.

The first day I met Tailor she was expressing her distain for Everett’s relationship with Jasmine, not out of jealousy or spite, but because she recognizes as do I that it’s a complete and sickening disaster. From that day I knew Tailor and I would be good friends.

Tailor is an aspiring chef