Everett’s First Gay Experience

Everett said that he had something he must tell me, but that I couldn’t judge him for it. He confessed that he had messed around with his friend and fellow transgender, Mark. My first thought was shit, now I can’t be your first gay experience. On second thought, he’s panicking over it and hasn’t really done anything wrong.

You see it’s a common belief that if you are gay and you go through gender reassignment therapy to change your gender, your attractions are based on familiarity with yourself or how you identify yourself and that you’ll still be gay. I won’t pretend to understand it because I can name about a dozen other people who could explain it in greater detail than I, doesn’t change the fact that Everett is afraid of people judging him after they’ve told him it’s only a matter of time before he’s attracted to men. Including his fiancé, Jasmine.

Today is Aubrey’s Birthday and she really had nothing planned. I figured if she was going to do anything it’d probably be a few lines of cocaine or smoke a puddle of meth. She says she’s coming down hard and feels horrible, but again I believe she’s done it to herself and I’m not going to give her attention for it.

A quick recap on Aubrey’s pregnancy. After three or four negative pregnancy tests she still wasn’t convinced, so she went to the doctor to check her blood and it was also negative. She isn’t pregnant. Still our friendship is failing.

I’ve had a pretty busy day and I’m glad to be home, although I’m not really sure why I look forward to the weekends these days. It seems all I do when I’m not at the office is sit at home and drink because my friends all have other plans. It amazes me how restless I can get and I force myself to sleep sometimes for ten or eleven hours at a time because it’s better than just sitting here doing nothing.