Hanging out with Aubrey is inconvenient because she doesn’t live just down the street like Tai, and she doesn’t stop in like Everett. In fact, I can never hangout with Aubrey unless I go to her house, and then it’s usually just chasing her back and forth between going outside so she can smoke or watching her watch a movie with someone else.

Everett threatened suicide again because Jasmine told him that she has feelings for somebody else. So of course that’s the route he takes. This time his friend Tai and I intervened and brought him to her house only to have to chase him down the street hours later because he can’t stand to be away from Jasmine for a breaths sake. I did the only thing I could do at that point. I called his mother.

I met with Aubrey that night at a park for a festival, only to have to leave with Tai shortly after because Jasmine was taking Everett to the hospital claiming that she wasn’t going to do it alone anymore. I rolled my eyes because there isn’t one day she’s had to do it alone.

He kicked his mother out of his hospital room. He wouldn’t even let me in it. He moved in with his Grandma, although I’m sure he’s moved in there about as much as he moved in with me. Just a place to store his crap because regardless of Tai and I explaining to Jasmine that she’s not doing any good by Everett, he’s back at her place with any excuse he can come up with.

This is why Tai has cut all ties with him, and he’s not even speaking to me so I suppose we’re done, too. It’s very sad, that our friendship means so little to him. But really, he’s bipolar—not stupid, and he’s making some really dumb decisions.

Everett obviously hasn’t been taking his medication. He quit his job and quietly moved out of my condo, he even took Lucky! Unfortunately this just means that he is once again stuck with the incomparable Ms. Jasmine. It’s pathetic, sickening, and pretty stupid; but he chose it. Once again this is all on him. In my heart I hope he finds some level of the happiness he so desperately wants to find with her, but my very logical brain knows that kind of happiness just isn’t there to be found. Period.

I’ve been hanging out with my friend Rogue these past few weeks. I met her through Aubrey about three years ago when Aubrey was trying to date her. Rogue is the friend who once asked me if I would consider marrying her for the benefits of marriage, and I didn’t have to think too hard about it. Since then we’ve became good friends and we’ve discussed having a baby together someday when we both get our shit together. This day cannot come soon enough for me.

Everett has stayed home once and he decided to sleep on the couch. I’m not sure why, but I believe Jasmine may have said something to him about sleeping in the same bed as me. Making him uncomfortable. On top of this Lucky keeps waking me up several times a night because he isn’t there.

This past weekend was Harmony Pride 2010! I spent the whole day at the festivities with Everett, Jasmine, and Aubrey. It was a lot of fun, aside from Jasmine pulling Everett aside multiple times and treating him like he’s her child more than her boyfriend.

Aubrey is bummed because Keirra may be going to prison for a probation violation, which I am actually quite happy about. Keirra thinks she’s all bad as when in reality she’s nothing but an immature little brat that makes bad decisions just to show that she can. One to fifteen years in a women’s prison might be just the thing this bitch needs.

Speaking of Aubrey, she’s been clean for about a week now and we’ve been looking into rehab options for her. I’m not too convinced that she’s serious about getting help though, because she doesn’t want to go without her phone or change her number. Which would be the first thing I would do if I was avoiding people who exploited my weaknesses and made me do things that I didn’t want to do.

Secondly, I found that the guy she had sex with was her friend’s boyfriend. The friend she wants to move in with to keep her clean. I’ve met him and he’s a total sleaze, none-the-less he’s one lucky fucker.

Everett did decide to move back in with me and I’m pretty happy about it. The first night he went shopping with Jasmine and I had the thought of inviting her to have dinner with us. Although I’m not a big fan of hers I understand that she is still very important to him and he needs to feel that everyone in his life is welcome at a place he calls home.

I had paid for dinner and was getting drinks when apparently she made the comment that I was creepy because I tickle his head when we’re relaxing. She literally said that I was creepy, and I’m not at all happy about it.

That night Everett slept on the couch and tossed and turned, the next day he confessed to me how badly he wanted to come into my bedroom and cuddle. I explained that he was welcome to do so.

Then Aubrey and I had a few words because she wants to move to another county to live with a friend and get clean. I told her that she can’t run away from the drugs and that if she doesn’t trust herself not to go hunting for them, that she needs to go to rehab. Because none of her friends are going to be able to keep her from the drug if that’s what she wants.

The next day Aubrey decided to go into rehab, but I haven’t heard anything as far as follow through. I believe, it may have just been an attempt for attention.

Speaking of attention. The second nigh after Everett had moved out, he was going to spend the night with Mark. Once Jasmine found out she threatened to kill herself unless he came back to take care of her. He called me for advice and I told him to call the police. He did. She is now doomed to having sleepovers with her mother for a little while, and the consequence? She was told to take a month off of work and mommy would pay for everything.

Last night we went to get Everett’s cat, Lucky, and they both decided to cuddle up with me in my bed. I had the best sleep that I’ve had in a long time. It felt very good to wake up next to somebody for a change.

Today I went to Aubrey’s to help celebrate her Birthday with the seasons first barbecue. She was freaking out because she had decided to tell her mother about her recent drug use and she’s coming down from methamphetamine. She wants to move a few counties over to live with her newest interest because she says it’ll help her stay clean if she doesn’t know where to get more drugs. I believe she’s trying to make this getting clean and staying clean process more romantic.

I’m actually excited for tomorrow because Everett has decided to move back in with me… again. This would be the fifth time since he moved out that he has been dead set on moving back in with me, but Jasmine always thwarts his attempts and guilts him into staying. I plan to be over there first thing in the morning to help pack his stuff. My goal is to get Everett’s belongings here before she has the chance to manipulate him.

Wish me luck.

Also, in not so many words Everett has admitted to an attraction to me. I’m not sure to what magnitude because I’m just reading between the lines here after he explained to me the details of his and Jasmine’s conversation where he said we’re intimately close. Honestly, I think we’d be really good for each other, but I’m afraid of saying anything as it may weigh heavily on our relationship.

He did explain to me last week that in the midst of a drunken cuddling session I told him all of my little secrets. He still owes me a sleepover, and that’s when I plan to ask him which secrets I’ve told him.

I’ve got a couple of Birthday parties to go to tonight. One being Aubrey’s, so we’ll see just how sick she really is. The other is my friend Nicole’s, whom I don’t really see all that often anymore since she got married and had a baby. Should make for an interesting night.

You see it’s a common belief that if you are gay and you go through gender reassignment therapy to change your gender, your attractions are based on familiarity with yourself or how you identify yourself and that you’ll still be gay. I won’t pretend to understand it because I can name about a dozen other people who could explain it in greater detail than I, doesn’t change the fact that Everett is afraid of people judging him after they’ve told him it’s only a matter of time before he’s attracted to men. Including his fiancé, Jasmine.

Today is Aubrey’s Birthday and she really had nothing planned. I figured if she was going to do anything it’d probably be a few lines of cocaine or smoke a puddle of meth. She says she’s coming down hard and feels horrible, but again I believe she’s done it to herself and I’m not going to give her attention for it.

A quick recap on Aubrey’s pregnancy. After three or four negative pregnancy tests she still wasn’t convinced, so she went to the doctor to check her blood and it was also negative. She isn’t pregnant. Still our friendship is failing.

I’ve had a pretty busy day and I’m glad to be home, although I’m not really sure why I look forward to the weekends these days. It seems all I do when I’m not at the office is sit at home and drink because my friends all have other plans. It amazes me how restless I can get and I force myself to sleep sometimes for ten or eleven hours at a time because it’s better than just sitting here doing nothing.

I don’t foresee any challenges working with Everett, but it still concerns me working with someone that I know so intimately. I’ve already made it clear that I cannot give him any special treatment, but still I’m afraid that I’ll want to.

Tomorrow is Aubrey’s Birthday and she’s sick, turns out she has bronchitis—probably brought on or made worse by her recent drug use. Supposedly she’s been coming down from meth and I guess she’s determined once again to get clean and stay clean. I think she sees something romantic about getting clean for somebody, because she doesn’t realize she’d have to do it for herself.

Although we both agree that she hasn’t done anything wrong, Aubrey’s and my friendship is still struggling. I just can’t get past some things and it really sucks. We miss each other, and I miss us.

These past few days have been weighing on our friendship because not only are we barely speaking, but she’s been staying with her ex-girlfriend Natalie and bingeing on meth and whatever else under the guise that she’s so depressed over losing Keirra.

As I write this Aubrey’s trying to find a way to Harmony Hospital because she can’t breathe. She’s very weak and raspy sounding, and I can’t help but think it’s all because of her recent meth use.

I don’t know what I’d do if something were to happen to her, but I can’t get past the thought that she’s making herself this way.

With this blog I hope to talk about the everyday goings on here in Harmony, how stressed I can get at work and how my friends who just add to the chaos really are the spice of life.